Book1:TeDream-Maker (第60/166页)

Onweekends，theywouldetothedormandtrytodatemeandIkewasohem．AtfirstIdidn’tpayatentiontohim,butonedayIfoundoutthathisloveformewastrue．Thatm,quiteafewofmybeauxturnedupandIdecidedtokeepthemwaitingandseehowmany,ifany,couldpassthetestofpatieupforthem.Oeraheygotimpatientofwaitinga，untilintheend,aftereighthours,onlyIkeremained．Hesatiingroomofthedorm,writingouthisnewporarycssiposition,whichhededicatedtome,soengrossedandiinhisworkthathelosttraeandsurroundings．Nimblefingersflewoverthewoodentableasifitiaowingtheinanimateobjectwithartisticpowers.Hummingandpying,hewouldstoptowriteoutafewbarsormakecorreswheupouneorhattune,writtenonthedayIdecidedtotestmybeaux，washisfirstpresenttome．He’sbeenwonit，revisingit，foralongtimeandtonighthebroughtmehishand-writtenpositionasapartinggiftinmemoryofourmarriage．We’vebeenseparatedforooseehowwestandaherdivorceistheonlywayout．Ilovehimandstillkeephispicturewithmeallthetime,butIkethinksweshouldendourmarriage.”ShetookoffthelocketandwhichsheworearoundhernedhaoDimitri,saying

    "That’shim."Dimitriopehelocketandlookedatthesmallpictureinside．Hewasahandsomemanwithintelligent,-cutfeatures,mencholyblueeyesdeepastheseaandfulloflove．Hisartistidhairwaslybedandhewascasuallydressedinanavy-blueturtlenecksweater．

    Eliohestoryoftheirromandmarriageinalow,pensivevoice．Aftershefoundouttheextentofhistrueloveforher,Elinafellheadoverheelsinlove．Shehadthisstrangefeelingthatshehadknownhimbeforeforalongtimeandknownhimwell．Everymovementcouldbringresoheyplungedheadlonginte．SheknewbeforehermarriagethatIkeotent,butshedidn’tcare．Shethoughtthatloveandlustweretwopletelydifferentthingsandshehadmarriedforlove．Butastimepassed，shegraduallybecameawareofsomethingmissing．Trueandpureastheirlovewas，itwasonlyamirage,gthedown-to-earthloveoftheflesh．Shecouldnolongerbesatisfiedwithansthesizeofalittlefinger．Ikeuoodandcametothepainfuldecisionthatitwasunnaturaltodenyherhealthybody．Heallowedhertohaveaffairswithothermen．Atfirst,Elinaagreed,buteverytimeshecamebackafterferociousandtempestuouslove-making，herhungerfullysatisfied，shewasstruckwithasenseofguiltandremorse．ThepaininIke’seyes,whichhetriedsohardtoceal,waslikeakuherheart．Theyfellintoeachothersarms,g．Therepetitionofthissebecameanightmareuntiltheyfeltthattotihisretionshipwascrueltobothofthemanddecidedonseparatioheirfeelings．Theypartedamicably，stillverymulove，andtonightIketoldherhisdecision—divorce．Elihathermarriagewasnotamistake；herwasherdivorce．Loveandlustcouldbeseparate．Loveiritualintercoursebetweentwopeople．EverytimeshewaswithIkeaaloveforhim,itbroughtitsownfulfillment,pleteinitself,withouttheneedforphysitimacy;justasapletelysatisfyingsexualintercoursesometimeshasnoneedforspirituallove．Elinasattherelookinglostandpensive．

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    "Duringtheyearofseparation，ImyeyesonanothermanbecauseIwaoremainfaithfultoIke,eventhoughheallowedmetohaveaffairs．YouseeIstilllovehim，orIwouldn’tkeephispictureomyheart．Buttrarytomyexpectations，Ikehasgedpletelyduringthisyearofseparationintothegaymanyoujustsaw．Todayheotonlytotellmeofhisdecis